Map

The books are in and I will pick them up tomorrow. We shall see if they help.

I feel more relaxed today. I see a path before me that I want to travel and I may be capable of overcoming the hurdles that will inevitably be placed in front of me.

Grateful – I feel grateful that I now have my own space.
Happy – I fee happy that I can visualize how it will look.
Secure – I feel secure because my husband will put effort into making my space special.
Proud – I feel proud that I have begun organizing myself.
Angry – I fee angry because dinner is late.
Sad – I feel sad that I am not more sociable.
Afraid – I feel afraid that I will not reach my weight loss goals.
Guilty – I still feel guilty about not calling big Erika back.

Emotions

There are four positive emotions and four negative emotions. Write a short "first thing that pops into your mind" sentence for each. If there's an emotion you can't write a sentence for, you've identified your problem. This omitted feeling is often the one that is simmering beneath the surface and triggering overeating. - The Solution by Laurel Mellin

Grateful – I feel grateful I have a job.
Happy – I feel happy I got my new books.
Secure – I don’t feel secure.
Proud – I feel proud that Diesel gave me a good review on Happenstance.
Angry – I feel angry that ** is dead.
Sad – I feel sad that ** felt he had to kill himself.
Afraid – I feel afraid ** killed himself.
Guilty – I feel guilty about not calling big Erika back.

So, why don't I feel secure? Well, that I know. How do I feel secure? That I've never been able to discover. The book is on order. Maybe it will help me find the answer.

Joints

My wrists, ankles, knees and right hip ache. That's because I actually moved this weekend.

Frustration, Annoyance and Crap

Blogger keeps screwing with my pictures. My boss acted rude and ignorant all day today, plus he rambled on incessantly over things I already knew. I think he just wanted to here himself talk. I wanted to print out my Christmas cards and never could find the time. My back still hurts just enough to slow me down. I still have two gifts to buy. I hate whiners, so I'll go now.

Another Day...

It's bedtime and I have no real sense of how I got here today. To top it off, I don't want to review my day because it was boring enough going through it the first time.

I think I'll go dream and be entertained.

Wasted

I wasted the entired weekend. I had plans to accomplished all kinds of things. I had a vacation day on Friday. I took Cody to the groomer and had my hair done at the same time (no, not by the groomer, you smarty pants.) I took my mother's Christmas letter to her so she could mail out her cards. I redid my blogroll today. That's all I accomplished in three days.


The one thing I wanted to finish was the final design on my Christmas cards. I have the final idea done, I just need to execute the design.

Friday evening I started feeling punky. I think I had a mild infection, slightly feverish, no energy, dizzier than usual. I spent the day in bed Saturday. Then sometime during the day my lower back began hurting. So, today, even though I felt a little better I couldn't move much. I sat on a heating pad all day and half-heartedly played on the internet.

I used to feel very guilty when I did this but not anymore. I have begun to think this is my subconscience way of getting a break.

Triple Dog Dare

I am really pissed off with myself that I can’t get a handle on my food problems (I hate the word issues.)

Today, I begin walking again. I went shopping yesterday for five hours and was incapable of moving for the rest of the day because my knees hurt so badly.

It is very obvious to me that I am just being lazy. There has never been anything I couldn’t do if I wanted to do it. That means I haven’t wanted to take care of this debilitating situation enough. Well, I am officially double daring myself to get my great, big, fat ass moving.

I want to be at a normal weight and respectably mobile by the time I’m fifty. That gives me two years.

Don’t think I am being hard on myself either. I’m not. I deserve a swift kick, believe me.