Committed

So far, I have managed to walk every day with The Codes. I have even added a few minutes starting this week. I am still waiting for some additional energy, but I think my exhaustion is mostly because I do not get enough quiet time, which I think I need more of than most people.

Food Is Fuel

Food is fuel.
Food is fun.
Food is flavorful.
Food can be fattening.
Food can be fatal.
Food can be frightening.
Food is family.
Food is a fiesta.
Food is fabulous.
Food is filling.
Food is feeling.
Food is fault.
Food is faithless.
Food is familiar.
Food can be a fad.
Lack of food can make you fade.
Too much food can make you fade.
Food can be a friend.
Food can be a fiend.
Food finds me feverishly looking for freedom.
Food is fuel.

Great Golly

The weekend turned out to be very busy. I took The Codes to his girlfriend for a bath and brush and trim. I planted my front flower beds and they look like a box of crayons. I read. I wrote. I laundered. I watched movies. I walked.

I bought a candy bar and put it in my desk drawer at work. I wanted it, so I bought it, but then after allowing myself to have it, I discovered I didn't really want it. Throughout the day, I said I wanted something and I told myself I could have whatever I wanted and the moments passed unacted upon.

I have committed to walking The Codes everyday. That seems like a good place to start. There has been cookies and ice cream and potato chips in the house all weekend and they are all still there, unopened. Score!

Voices In My Head

Negative talk takes so many forms. I have found that denying myself things makes me want them all the more. Well, no real suprise there.

"You can't have that. It's fattening. It's unhealthy. It's not practical. It's not on sale. It's not part of the vision of our world."

Instead of obsessing anout what I can not have and talking myself out of things, I am telling myself throughout the day, "You can have whatever you want."

Over the last week, I have thought less about food. If I found I had a craving for something, I told myself, without guilt, that I could have it. I even went out and bought it a couple of times but never ate it. Or, more often, my mind moved on to something else that wasn't food related.

And I am much more relaxed.

As You Wish

Since I have begun telling myself I can have whatever I want to eat, my urge to eat all of the food within a 20 mile radius has subsided.

Roadmap

I feel much better this week. I read Joseph Campbell's Pathways to Bliss and found this well respected and learned man saying things I have believed for so long. He has helped me feel better and slighty less lost; perhaps, validated is a better way of putting it.

I think I have a better direction in which to travel.