I didn’t want to walk today. I struggled out the door. Thank goodness for my husband and my dog, guilting me into my sneakers.
The blue sky and cool breeze should have enticed me to a long stroll, but all I thought about was how far away it was back to my front door. I felt so pathetic. If you could see my insides, you would have thought I was being tortured.
I wanted to walk through the park this weekend for some extra exercise and the weather was perfect for it, but I couldn’t force myself to do it. I reminded myself how my only walking goal is to do my 20 minutes each morning. But the crushing weight of failure bore down on me.
Each time a negative thought popped into my head, I forced it out and my energy followed.
Some days, the simplest things are so hard.
10 comments:
I have been to the gym 6 out of 12 days. Granted, two of those days the gym wasn't open (Sundays), but that still makes 4 days I couldn't even force myself to leave the house. At least you are making your minimum goal. I can't even claim that yet! Cheer up. With every pound you lose the walking should get (physically) easier.
Nessa, I think you're doing very well. Thing is, you're a perfectionist and tend to be very hard on yourself for any perceived falling shorts.
I was out at five in the morning (basically because I hadn't been to bed yet, anyone reading this would think I have a really happening sex life, rather than just plain or vanilla insomnia) and pounding up the hill, carrying weights (so work out for both upper and lower body) and I felt rage surge up, and I ran vent my spleen as my mind splintered into a million different shards.
I have decided not to take the ipod along so I can listen to my own thoughts, and sure enough, the calm voice of reason (my angel, or higher self) started to talk to me...tell me that such thoughts are counterproductive, that it is not a matter of venting as they just build on themselves and make me feel worse.
And then there was silence.
Quilly: When I first started it took me about a month to get into the swing of things. Now, I'm trying to practice some of that patience you spoke about.
Jenn: Part of the problem for me is that I am really a night person. Before I had my daughter, 430 was my bedtime not the time I would get up. I feel myself wanting to revert to old behavior. I found not listening to music while I walk is helping me too.
I didn't go to the gym yesterday, either. U have one week of vacation left and I am wanting to spend it doing kick backed things. The gym is NOT kicked back!
I feel guilty everytime I go down the road that the gym is on because I haven't been in what feels like SO LONG. The heat this summer has zapped my energy level!
Quilly: I really understand. That's why I don't go to a gym, to easy for me NOT to go. I use my dog to guilt me into it. Otherwise, especially the way I've felt over the last few days, I would have stopped. Guilt is a great motivator.
Mary: The summer heat has been horrendous. That's why I set such a small goal. Fall will be better. I always have more energy then.
I have two new pairs of dress shoes, and am minus a couple of inches of hair (some from scissors, some from hot wax). As soon as the puffy redness fades I am certain I will be beautiful. So, no gym today either, but my purse lost weight, does that count?
Quilly: Your red puffiness is beautiful;D
That's usually how I lose weight.
I love your butterfly symbol. Came by for a visit, guess my eyes are older than I think for I was unable to read from the green screen. I will attempt to return. We can share our interest in the butterfly stories and life's journey. Have a great day
glimpsesintangible...Thanks for your visit at my blog!
I know what you mean.
I only walked once during vacation. I felt so guilty but I just couldn't find the motivation.
I need a jump start to get back into the swing of things.
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