09.15 - I have no idea how I feel. Sometimes, well, really most times, I’m very annoyed but I don’t think that’s a real emotion. As a matter of fact, I’m annoyed most of the time, so that is just a state of being, a distraction from what is really going on. When I’m annoyed that means that someone outside of myself is imposing on me and I don’t like it. They are breaking into my internal reverie; disturbing my train of thought; forcing reality on the little fantasy world I have going on in my head all of the time. I’d be really happy if I could be a hermit and day dream my life away. (116)

09.26 – I always feel better when I am writing but I fear that is a distraction, too.

09.32 – I’m eating my lunch because I just read some comments on my art (and they were good) and now I feel uncomfortable. I feel like a fraud. I am nervous. I am scared. I want a V-8.

10.21 – I just got done with the mind numbing sort of drivers’ logs. I’m worried about my puppy. He had a bunch of shots yesterday and the shots always make him lethargic. He didn’t even pee this morning. He just stood outside staring into space like a person on Prozac. I want lots of money (please God, I don’t want anyone to die so I can get it – the lottery will do) so I can stay home with my baby. I love my Codels.

10.41 – I am ready for a nap. “Per chance to dream.” I’m bored.

11.21 – I hate our copiers. They are digital computer copiers that print like laser printers and they are so fucking slow I could die and be resurrected before they are done making my damn copies. Damn it! My stomach is all distended from the sandwich I had for lunch/breakfast. And the V-8 juice keeps repeating on me and I do not have my Tums in my lunch box.

Whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, pthst.

11.32 – I want some Häagen-Dazs dulce de leche ice cream. I’m not hungry, I just want some. I am very full but I could eat some ice cream. Actually now that I am really thinking about it, I couldn’t eat anything right now. I might throw up. I have no energy though. I still want a nap. Maybe I’m depressed and not bored. Maybe I am both. I just don’t want to be here.

11.40 – Maybe some water. I am a bit parched. Yes, I really think in this stupid voice. - - - that is better.

12.24 – I distracted myself with writing limericks. I feel more awake and alert. Bully for me. Back to logs.

12.46 – I’m picking at my fava beans (they are really soy beans.) It’s like eating nuts.

13.03 – Off to potty then a lunchtime study. One hour of reading boring HR books.

13.09 – I want sugar. I’ll have some grapes and a Kashi bar instead. Oh, yum. I spoke with my husband at 11.30 as he was on his way home from work. He was going to check on my puppy and call me. He didn’t call. I called him and he didn’t answer his cell phone. Now, I’m worried about my puppy even more and I’m mad at my husband. Let me call him again, the old fart. - - - No answer on the cell phone or the house phone. What the hell?

13.20 – QV (my husband) just called. He had his phone on the counter while he was out chopping up ice on the driveway. He said Cody was fine and so was he, thanks for asking. Yeah, ok, like I never ask.

14.04 – My brain is fuzzy from reading. I never did have my grapes and Kashi bar; maybe later. I’m going to get up from my desk and walk around the office, and then it’s back to logs.
14.22 – Why do I like salt so much? Those soy beans are so good with some salt on them. I’m using Lite Salt, though, which isn’t bad.

14.37 – I’m eating my grapes and Kashi bar now. I’m hungry. I keep thinking about all of the piles of papers in my office at home that I will have to force myself to deal with tonight. I should have done it over the weekend instead of start a new blog. Now I feel I won’t be ready for our FA tomorrow night. And I still haven’t detailed our budget. I hate it when I procrastinate. It sucks.

15.00 – Why do people ask my opinion only to tell me I’m wrong? If you really don’t want to hear what I have to say, quite asking me. I have no great need to tell you. Leave me the hell alone. I should just turn it around and ask what they think then agree with them. Yeah, that’s what I will do. I can then zone out while they are talking and just nod when they are done. Sounds like a good plan.

15.09 – I want potato chips and candy and tomato soup because I am frustrated that nothing ever gets done here at work unless it becomes a crisis.

15.15 – I think the way bounty hunters can do whatever they want to anyone is terrible. While I’m glad he caught that perve in Mexico, they should have some rules to follow.

15.51 – My desk is very clean. I like it. I cleaned it on Friday. It was really dirty and dusty, but now it’s not. I’m waiting for my coffee Coolatta from Dunkin Donuts. I like coffee slurpies and I need a caffeine boost for tonight.

16.03 – My Coolatta has arrived and it is yummy. Excuse me while I enjoy.

16.59 – Almost time for freedom. Jason Isaacs is hot. I love his blue eyes and black hair. Ding, ding, ding. It is five of the clock.