20130206 - morning

I woke up at 2am needing to pee which I did but then I couldn’t get back to sleep. I had a mini panic attack over money and bills and the extra receiver on our Directv bill. I turned the tv on and listened people who killed their spouses. I fell asleep in about an half hour. My shoulders really hurt the muscles are sore from either the way I hold them up under the pillows or from me laying on them or both.

I decided I’m not going to send my posts from Pupa to Monarch to my twitter feed. That kept me awake too thinking about who may have seen my crazy ramblings. I’m wondering about this now but I have to do my 500 morning words before I can go to my email or FB.

I was in a completely different house in my dreams last night. I rearranged furniture, visited many different rooms and flirted with some guys. I wanted to be with one guy but ended up with one everyone thought I should be with instead. Just before I woke, we went to a crowded mall where the exit was full of killer animals in water. You had to run between their tanks to get out while the animals jumped out of their enclosures to attack you but turns out they are mechanical killer toy animals. People dove into the tanks to try to get the animals like bull fighters. The animals were pretty vicious so some people died from their injuries. That’s when I woke up because the alarm went off.

I usually get up at 0430 but I slept until 0530 this morning because I woke up at two which made me tired.

I’m not going to keep all of the spelling errors in my posts from now on. I can’t take it. What else to say this morning? So far I don’t feel depressed like I did yesterday but I haven’t gotten to work yet. I think I was ok until then. Taking a break to get a cup of coffee. I took an Aleve for my shoulders and I’ve been taking some deep breaths and drinking my seltzer. I was disappointed when I stepped on the scale. I figured since I had one good day I should weigh less than yesterday morning. Didn’t happen of course. Patience just isn’t something I have much of anymore.

The Aleve hasn’t kicked in yet. It’s been about 30 minutes. If I don’t move it feels better when it hurt before without moving.

Dave Grohl is hosting Chelsea Lately. He’s pretty funny. He said he’s doing it to be out of his comfort zone. I need 50 more words. It looks like I can ramble on for 500 words in 30 minutes. That’s good to know. I cup down my todo list my more than half. I took out all of the reminders of things I want to do some time in the future. i took out all of the subjects I want to learn. I’ll have to save all of these things for when I can support myself with my writing. I am happy with the attitude I chose for Vincent van Kingmaker in the Prologue. I want him to be self absorbed and over confident in his opinions and knowledge: in other words a real blow hard.

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